My Boys

My boys. Oh how I love them.

From a very young age I knew that I wanted to be a mom and stay at home and raise my 8 (or so) fantastic kids. I wanted babies-lots of them. So when I found out I was having twins my first time being pregnant I was so excited. Ecstatic even.

And so clueless about what the future held.

I knew that I would have 2 beautiful boys and that I would raise them in the Gospel and teach them about the Atonement, faith and prayer, and about the importance of serving others. I knew that I would make family and individual prayer and FHE and scripture study a priority. I knew I would always love them and always be there for them and continue to teach them and guide them and nurture them every single day.

What I didn’t know was that these 2 very precious sons would both be sent to this earth with disorders that would affect their feelings, moods, thoughts, and ability to relate to others. That they would struggle with low frustration tolerance, anxiety, anger and severe rages. And that my little boys would cry and wonder why Heavenly Father gave them a brain that didn’t work the same as everyone else’s.

What I didn’t know is that they would both have several mental illness disorders.

Disorders that would affect every aspect of their lives every single day.

In the recent General Conference Elder Holland gave a talk about mental illness stating “these afflictions are some of the realities of mortal life, and there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than in acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor.”

I loved that he said this because there is still such a stigma attached to mental illness. There is a great need for advocacy, education, and support for those affected by mental illness and their families.

Because of this and in honor of my boys and the many others affected by mental illness I am participating in the NAMI Walk again this year.

The NAMI Walk celebrates recovery and raises awareness about mental health, in hopes to erase the stigma associated with mental illness. I have seen firsthand what NAMI has done to help to improve the lives of those living with mental illness and their families. I have seen hope come to those who so desperately needed it as well as understanding and resources and support.

So I am asking you, my friends to PLEASE donate to support my participation in this great event. You can visit my personal walker page http://namiwalks.nami.org/sarah2013 to donate directly to me online. ANY amount helps!!!

It is a heart breaking thing to see someone you love (and in my case 2 someone’s) struggle so much with something that is not their fault. Each day is a challenge but I know that they are strong spirits, housed in imperfect bodies.

Elder Holland also said: “I bear witness of that day when loved ones whom we knew to have disabilities in mortality will stand before us glorified and grand, breathtakingly perfect in body and mind. What a thrilling moment that will be! I do not know whether we will be happier for ourselves that we have witnessed such a miracle or happier for them that they are fully perfect and finally “free at last.” Until that hour when Christ’s consummate gift is evident to us all, may we live by faith, hold fast to hope, and show “compassion one of another,”

I look forward to that day when my boys will truly be "free at last." But for now I will keep praying, keeping seeking help and resources for my boys, continue in patience and above all trust in God. I will never stop fighting for them, never stop loving them, and never stop trying to help them and teach them.  And above all I will never lose HOPE.